


Same Shit As Always

by StutteryPrince



Category: Villainous (Cartoon)
Genre: black hat has to go save his idiots from some other idiot, flug and dementia are just waiting for their boss to show up, he cares but he can't show them that, they just wanna go home
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2019-01-17 05:40:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12358656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StutteryPrince/pseuds/StutteryPrince
Summary: Flug and Dementia get capture by yet another new villain who hasn't yet realized that anyone that works for Black Hat Inc. isn't one to be messed with. Black Hat, like usual, has to come and get his employees from whatever new hot shot that's entered the scene. Yep, same shit as always.





	Same Shit As Always

**Author's Note:**

> 5.0.5. was originally gonna be captured too, but then I realized I hadn't written him into the intro so I kinda just went with it.  
> My Flug and Demencia Blog: lizards-and-lunchbags.tumblr.com

When Flug finally started to come to, it was with a groan and a shiver against the coldness of the floor. There was also a voice laughing somewhere in front of him, but his brain was still too foggy to connect it with anybody.

 

“Ow...”

 

He went to place his hands on the ground and push himself up, but he found his arms pinned to his sides. Looking down, he sighed and rolled his eyes at the sight of the rope wrapped around his torso, trapping his arms to his sides and leaving no room to struggle.

 

“Wow. A good knot for once. Can’t even reach my ray gun.”

 

“Mmmfluggy?”

 

Flug managed to roll over and look at Dementia, who was tied up as well and waking up herself. She had been placed an upright position against the wall, but with how she shook her head to clear it of the drowsiness, she had started to slip. Flug tossed his leg out immediately, placing his foot against the wall and catching her.

 

“Thanks.”

 

“No problem, DeDe. Help me up?”

 

She shifted back into a more upright position and leaned down, grabbing his ropes with her teeth and pulling him up next to her. He scooted up against the wall more comfortably, looking around the small metal room they had been placed in.

 

“Soooo….the heck are we?”

 

“No clue. You think Doctor Diabolical renovated or something?”

 

“Nah. Look.”

 

Flug nodded his head toward the glass wall in front of them. They both squinted out of it, taking in the dark yellow wallpaper, both of them scoffing through their teeth at the tacky color. 

 

“Yeah, you’re right. Doc’s got baby blue wallpaper. That’s a really gross yellow.”

 

Before Flug could agree, the air in front of them rippled and a figure dressed in a monochrome suit filled the space. 

 

“Finally awake are we?”

 

The two villains looked up at her, eyebrows raised in confusion. The figure suddenly tittered, smacking her forehead.

 

“Ah, how rude of me! I am Chrome, your new boss and the new top villain in town after I destroy Black Hat!”

 

There was a beat of silence as Flug and Dementia looked at each other. Dementia’s nose wrinkled up at she bit her lip and Flug doubled over, burying his face against his knees. The two of them suddenly burst out laughing, falling over each other as they shook with loud guffaws.

 

“Are...Are you serious,” Flug managed through laughs, using his shoulder to wipe at his tears.

 

“Hattie’s gonna kill you,” Dementia wheezed, biting her lip to try and stifle her laughter.

 

Chrome recoiled, sputtering as she huffed as stuck her nose in the air.

 

“Y-Yeah, right! If it was so easy to capture you two, killing him should be now problem!”

 

Chrome turned her back to the two of them, ignoring their laughter, which had doubled with her statement. Grumbling, she snapped her fingers and phased back to her own control room, eyes tracing over everything screen in front of her. 

 

“I would have thought he would have been here by now.”

 

Black Hat brushed his hands off as he walked out of the burning gas station, hopping up onto 5.0.5.’s back as he tucked something into the bottomless portal he called a coat pocket. Noticing that the blue bear was staring petrified at the roaring fire, Black Hat gave him a little kick to the side.

 

“Oh come on, you’ve seen me do worse. Besides, that thing’s going to blow in a moment.”

 

5.0.5. jumped and scrambled to start running, Black Hat smiling smugly as the gas station exploded behind them. He took a deep breath, inhaling the far off scent of smoke like one would a lavender scented candle. 

 

“Ah. Lovely.”

 

5.0.5. made a frightened by annoyed noise up at him and he rolled his eyes.

 

“Oh, come off it! You’ve destroyed buildings yourself.”

 

5.0.5. went to retort, but he closed his mouth after a moment, huffing through his nose. He continued to power through crowds and traffic, following all of Black Hat’s directions as he swerved through cars and people.

 

“Tell me if you smell something. The place is supposed to be hidden or something.”

 

5.0.5. nodded and continued to press on, sniffing at the air for even the slightest whiff of Flug or Dementia. Black Hat’s was using heat seeking vision himself, looking at all of the open areas around them for any signs of red, but 5.0.5.’s abrupt stop caused him to lose focus.

 

“What the bloody hell? What is it?”

 

5.0.5. nodded at a run down shack near the horizon and Black Hat squinted at it, his eyes widened at the two red specs floating above the ground. Squinting harder, he could begin to make out a larger red mass behind one of the specs and collection of dots of varying colors around the other specs.

 

“Yep, those are our idiots. Mush!”

 

Black Hat hunkered down closer to 5.0.5.’s back as the bear took off at full speed, heading straight for the shack.

 

When Chrome returned to the room her captives were in, she at least expected them to be trying to untie each other, but to her surprise, they were just sitting there! Dementia had her head on Flug’s shoulder and he had her chin in her hair, both of them humming some song together. Staying invisible, Chrome hovered in the middle of the room, squinting at the pair to see what they would do, maybe learn a secret or two.

 

“Oh! Oh! Flug! Flug!”

 

Flug moved as Dementia sat up, the lizard girl bouncing a little as she looked at him.

 

“What?”

 

“We should do that thing you came up with last time!”

 

“Thing? Oh. Oh! The thing with the heroes!”

 

Dementia nodded and Flug chuckled, crossing his legs as he turned to her. He tilted his head down and used his mouth to pull a necklace chain from under his shirt collar, the green gem in the frame hanging from it producing a holo-screen. 

 

_ Heroes?  _ Chrome’s smile curled as she snickered silently.  _ Finally some real dirt! _

 

“Okay, okay.” Flug began, trying to calm Dementia down before her enthusiasm rubbed off on him. “Color is gray and powers are ice.”

 

Dementia hummed as she thought, sticking out her tongue as she rolled her eyes.

 

“Uh….Soldier Snow?”

 

“Close!”

 

“Oh! Her sidekick, Snowball!”

 

“There ya go!”

 

Dementia whooped as Flug grabbed the chain again and bit one of the beads, aiming the bright light it produced at the halo screen. He dragged the light down and created a tick mark before dropping the chain.

 

“Okay, now I’m gonna give you a fight to try and place the hero with.”

 

“Gotcha!”

 

“We were at the park. We were stealing ice cream for Lady Venomiss kids.”

 

“Oh! Ah, who was it? Who was it?”

 

“Wanna sacrifice that point for another clue, DeDe?”

 

Dementia shook her head and grumbled as she tried to place the hero in the scene. Meanwhile, Chrome had finally realized what was going on. They...They were playing a game! These little brats were playing a  _ game _ as if they weren’t tied up and trapped! With an angered shout, Chrome made herself tangible, startling the two villains on the floor.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“Playing Hero Hunting,” Dementia answered cheerfully, “Also the hero was Magman that day! I remember because he melted all the ice cream and it made my hair all sticky.”

 

Flug nodded and added her point, laughing as he released the chain. He opened his mouth to give her another color and a set of powers, but he suddenly remembered Chrome, who was fuming next to them at being ignored. Slowly, he turned to her, looking around awkwardly.

 

“Did you...wanna play or something…?”

 

“NO! No, I don’t wanna play your stupid game! You’re supposed to be terrified!”

 

“Lady, we’ve been in haunted houses at the fair that are scary than what you’ve got going on,” Dementia snickered.

 

“Really, this isn’t that bad. Kinda cozy even,” Flug hummed, looking around and shrugging to the best of his ability. 

 

Chrome let out an almost feral sounding hiss and snapped her fingers, poofing back to her camera room. She glared at every screen, but her expression changed to one of surprise when she noticed a blue bear with a figure on its back approaching at high speeds.

  
“Oh? So the fun  _ finally  _ begins.”

 

Black Hat squinted at the shack, straddling 5.0.5.’s back and pressing himself flush against the bear.

 

“Ram the door.”

 

5.0.5. nodded and lowered his head, bracing himself for impact. 5.0.5. hit the door and it shattered into millions of little splitters, the bear stumbling as Black Hat released his hold and flew forward. He allowed himself to tumble a few feet before he put himself in a crouching positioning and slid toward the other hallway, standing up straight and brushing off his coat.

 

“5.0.5.! Go find those two imbeciles, they’re on one of the upper levels. I’ll find whoever’s behind their capture.”

 

The bear nodded and took off down the hallway, Black Hat running close behind. The moment they came to a fork in the path, they broke away from one another and began properly searching. Though, before 5.0.5. could completely get away from him, Black Hat grabbed his ear to bring him back.

 

“Remember, bear.” Black Hat leaned up to his ear and whispered,  _ “El doctor está en problemas.” _

 

5.0.5.’s eyes widened and his pupils almost seemed to shrink a fraction as Black Hat chuckled and let him go. They raced down their respective hallways, looking for the people they’ve been tasked with finding.

 

Chrome snickered darkly as she watched them both, her hands circling around the various buttons on the board in front of her. She played a small game of “Eeny, meeny, miny, moe” she closed her eyes and jabbed one of the buttons, giggling as she watched the screen 5.0.5. was on start flashing.

 

5.0.5. walked carefully with his nose to the ground, sniffing for the scent of maybe oil or sour candy as he climbed up the stairs. Suddenly, the stairs turned underneath him, making a metal slide of sorts. He scrambled to find purchase, but to his horror his fluffy paws weren’t providing any grip and he began sliding.

  
_ El doctor está en problemas.  _ Black Hat’s voice rang in his mind.

 

With a growl, 5.0.5. unsheathed his claws and sunk them into the metal, stopping his descent. He pulled one paw free and slammed it forward, digging his claws into the metal once again. He began climbing this way, set on finding the doctor even if it killed him.

 

Chrome had since hit another button after watching 5.0.5. start to fall, unaware of him climbing and destroying her trap. This button was linked to the hallway Black Hat was in and she rubbed her hands together, her eyes shining with someone akin to murder.

 

The only reason Black Hat was running was because he wanted to be out of this overgrown funhouse as soon as possible. The sooner 5.0.5. found those idiots and he found who took those idiots, the sooner they could all go back home. The eldritch monster stopped in his tracks as the hallway suddenly let out a grinding  _ whrrrr _ noise before panels opened up on either wall and fired giant arrows into the opposing wall, piercing him. Chrome laughed and jumped up and down, clapping as she watched her trap go off perfectly, but when she refocused on the screen, her mouth fell open.

 

Black Hat sighed as he looked at the arrow in his side, poking at it with his eyebrow raised.

 

“Is this all they’ve got? I was hoping for more of a fight. Isn’t even rusted to make it hurt more. Pity.”

 

With a disappointed roll of his eyes, Black Hat swung his hand and cut off a section of the arrow. He slid himself off the arrow and through the opening he made, slithering through the rest of the arrows as if he had never been hit.

 

“Oh, uh…” Chrome looked over the board, pressing another button and watching Black Hat’s screen.

 

With Chrome so focused on Black Hat, she didn’t notice that 5.0.5. had made it to the top of the stairs. He put his claws away and he put his nose back to the ground, swinging his head from side to side. His eyes widened as he finally caught something, the scent of the pop rocks Dementia loved and the soda Flug kept stashed in the very back of the fridge. He followed the scent with a sliver of doubt, for anyone could find that soda and candy anywhere, but he became elated when he picked up the scent of gunpowder and hot glue. While he was unsure of which scent belong to who, he was sure they belonged to either of them. He followed the scents down the hallway, only getting more and more happy as more familiar scents added themselves in.

 

By now, both Flug and Dementia had fallen asleep. Flug was spread out over Dementia’s lap while she was slumped against the wall, both of them wrapped up in her hair to keep warm. He blinked awake as a faint familiar scent hit his nose and he rolled over, squinting at the window in front of him.

 

“Blueberries…? Why would there be blueberries here…?”

 

Flug shook his head to clear away the sleepy feeling, blinking a few times to get his vision to clear. When it finally did, he squirmed out of Dementia’s lap and wormed his way over to the window, looking left and right in confusion. There was no one in the hallway at all, but that scent was too familiar for Flug to brush it off.

 

“...Fives,” he tried calling out, joking with himself as he sat on his feet and rolled his eyes.

 

5.0.5. paused when he heard the unmistakable sound of Flug’s voice coming from behind him. He whipped around and around, letting out a confused and concerned noise when he greeted with no sign of the doctor.

 

“Flug? Heck’re you doing…?”

 

Flug looked over his shoulder as Dementia roused, crawling over to him so she could lean against him again.

 

“You smell blueberries,  _ hermano _ ?”

 

“I do. Wonder where they’re coming from.”

 

5.0.5. was in a panic as he looked around, wondering where the voices of his friends were coming from. He heard his name called once more, this time being followed by laughter, and he finally settled on a section of the wall. Tilting his head, he leaned up and placed his paw on it, letting out that “Bwoh?” noise of his when a scream came from behind it.

 

Flug and Dementia yelped and scrambled back as a paw appeared on the window, but Flug leaned forward, squinting at it.

 

“Wait a minute. Blueberry scent. Blue fur and really cute paws.” He gasped happily, smiling wide enough for his chin to shown under his bag. “It really is Fives!”

 

“Big Blue?”

 

Flug nodded and Dementia leaned forward, all three of them tilting their heads at the situation.

 

Chrome, however, had no idea what their situation was for she was far to focused on killing Black Hat. The top villain was mowing down her traps and tricks like they were more of a minor inconvenience than anything else. She’d fire off one of her best traps and it would hit him point blank, but he would simply get back up and brush himself off, rolling his eyes as he busted it with his bare hands.

 

Black Hat heaved another sigh as he looked down at the sword in his torso, the blade clearly tipped with poison, but the only thing it succeeded in making him feel was annoyed. Tearing the sword from his body and using it to cut up the robot that had stabbed him in the first place, he tossed it in his hand before humming, smiling at it.

 

“This is the only good thing about this place so far. Have you got any more swords like this?”

 

Chrome was seething at this point, pulling at her hair as she watched him fight against nothing, fencing a little with the cutlass before carrying on down the hallway. He was getting too close to her room for her liking and she needed to do something about it  _ fast. _ She leaned over and snatched up her microphone, pressing the button with more force than needed.

 

“Stop where you are!”

 

To her surprise, he complied.

 

“If you come any closer, I’ll kill your minions!”

 

Black Hat scoffed, shrugging as he tested the sharpness of the sword against his finger.

 

“Go ahead.”

 

Chrome slammed her head against the board of button, sliding down them and onto the floor as she let out a growl of frustration. This guy was not only smug as all hell, but he was a heartless bastard as well! She sat up and grabbed the microphone again, taking a moment to grind her teeth as he took a few steps forward before she cleared her throat and pressed to microphone’s button.

 

“Black Hat! Please help,” she yelled in Flug’s voice, trying to instill  _ some _ concern in him. “She’s got a knife to my-”

 

Chrome flinched as a crash sounded above her, shaking the ceiling.

 

“The hell was that?!”

 

Forgetting about the murderous monster literally at her doorstep, Chrome snapped her fingers and popped back into the room her captives were in, gasping at the sight of shattered window with that blue bear half hanging out of it as he shook and held his head.

 

Dementia’s hair paused in its untying of Flug’s ropes, both of them looking up at Chrome with half surprised looks.

 

“Hey there.”

 

“What the hell?!”   
  


“We told you boss would come for us,” Dementia said as she finally pulled the knot loose.

 

Flug heaved a relieved sigh as the ropes fell, rolling his shoulders and stretching before he turned and began untying Dementia.

 

“It wasn’t hard, really, The ‘window’ you made was just a bunch of two way glass and magic, easily breakable.”

 

Dementia stretched like a cat as the ropes came undone and hit the floor. Chrome floated in the middle of the room, stunned into silence as she watched them hop out of the window and shake the bear back into full consciousness. It shook its head and smiled at Flug, licking him much like a dog would.

 

“Haha! I missed you too, buddy! Where’s the boss?”

 

5.0.5. pointed down and Chrome suddenly snapped back into reality, hastily snapping her fingers and teleporting back to her room, only to find Black Hat leaning against her destroyed button board. There were hacks and slashes all over the screens and buttons with wires sparking everywhere, rendering them completely useless in every way. 

 

“Honestly, this was a lot less fun than I hoped.

 

Chrome wavered as Black Hat became a black mist and moved toward her, reforming in front of her and jab the sword only inches from in between her eyes. Chrome fell to her backside as he pressed the sword against her gently, smiling at her.

 

“Where are my employees?”

 

Chrome raised a shaky hand and managed a weak snap, making all three of them appear in the room with them.

 

“Boss!”

 

Black Hat’s attention shifted to the two villains running up to him, Dementia jumping at him and hugging him with her arms and legs while Flug just gave him his version of a smile. Normally, Black Hat would have thrown Dementia to the ground for touching him, but he merely rolled his eyes and pulled at the back of her jacket.

 

“Alright, alright, off, off. Now.”

 

Dementia complied and hopped back onto the ground, moving to the other side of Black Hat. Flug raised his shirt and pulled a raygun from his waistband while Dementia pulled her favorite mace from her hair, both of them joining in by pointing them at Chrome as well. Chrome backed up a few paces, but stopped when she heard a low growl from behind her. She slowly looked up, eyes wide with horror at the sight of a very angry 5.0.5. looming over her.

 

“Ah shit…”

 

“Listen here.”

 

Black Hat advanced on her once more, black tendrils wriggling out from behind him as he walked.

 

“Normally, I would have sliced you into tiny little pieces, but this time, this time I shall let you live for the simple fact of I just had my suit cleaned. But your life also comes with one condition.  _ Never _ take my employees again. Break this condition and I’ll be the thing that goes bump in the night for the rest of your miserable life.”

 

Swallowing, Chrome nodded swiftly. Black Hat tittered and lowered the sword, pulling a card from his pocket and holding it out to her.

 

“You seem like a half-decent villain. If you ever need some  _ real _ gadgets, give Black Hat Inc. a call.”

 

Chrome took the card and nodded once more, the air around her rippling as she shook with fear. Black Hat gave her a pat on the head before turning to Flug and Dementia, who still still ready to fire and maim. 

 

“Weapons down. She’ll be no trouble anymore. Come on, you imbeciles, get on the bear, it’s time to go home. Once we get there, we’ll decide who gets this sword.”

 

Flug and Dementia holstered their weapons and jumped onto 5.0.5. as he lowered onto all fours, Black Hat jumping up after giving Chrome one last evil smile. 

 

“Onward for adventure, Big Blue!”

 

5.0.5. took off, finding his way through the building and out the front door once more. He walked with a lot less urgency than when they had been running to the shack, humming to himself as he headed for the manor.

 

“Boooooss,” Dementia whined, making Black Hat sigh.

 

“Yes, Dementia?”

 

“I’m huuuungryyyy!”

 

Black Hat rolled his eyes and reached inside his coat, pulling out a plastic bag and reaching back to hand it to Flug. He took it and opened it, half expecting a bomb or strange creature, but to his surprise the bag was filled with two tall cans of soda and baggies of snacks. Flug turned to show the contents to Dementia, who immediately selected her snacks and a can with a smile.

 

“Thanks, Boss,” they both chimed, happily digging in.

 

“You two better be grateful. I blew up a gas station for that stuff.”

 

“But did you  _ have _ to blow up the gas station?”

 

“Of course not, but I still expect you to be grateful.”

 

Flug and Dementia laughed and nodded, repeating their hands before they continued their snacking. Black Hat watched him through the eyes on the back of his head, shaking his head and smiling fondly, but just as that fatherly affection started to swell in his chest, he crushed it by reminding himself that they were just his employees, not his children. Besides, they were both full grown adults who could take care of themselves.

 

“If you both ruin your appetites before I make dinner, I won’t be refrigerating anything for you.”

 

_...Well,  _ that _ certainly didn’t destroy that fatherly feeling, now did it Black Hat? _

**Author's Note:**

> My Flug and Demencia Blog: lizards-and-lunchbags.tumblr.com


End file.
